I'm beginning to wonder, not that I haven't before, if no creative outlet for nearly 7 days is a healthy thing for me. Regardless of the fact I was on vacation, I'm seeing now (too late) that I shouldn't have 'vegged' on life completely. That is not to say I watched TV the entire time, because that is far from the truth. I simply rested, but now I feel so agitated that I'm liable to say things I may regret.
All part of the blogging experience is to be 'real' with your readers, right? Today based on my post title alone#, I think you can sense the realness is coming out full force. Perhaps you've not had this experience and if not good for you, just sit back and listen as one of the lesser mortals gives you the what's what.
Being an example, setting a precedent, and living up to the expectations of those around you, are some of the foulest 'medicine' you can taste when the mood strikes you to be, well . . . not so nice. While I type this I can't help singing the lyrics "You spend half of your life trying to fall behind*." I think we -- I think I'm guilty of getting so caught up with living the example that fits other's molds and attempting to have my life weigh in well with the expectations, that it drives me to the brink. Let me retract. I don't think, I know.
Thus the 'Ahhh Screw It' mentality enters and I do much more damage than good as I attempt to express that I want to EXPRESS more. I want a tattoo. No. I want several tattoos. I want to pierce my nose. I want to pierce my ear a dozen more times just to catch creeps in the grocery store starring, wondering what I was thinking. I want to live like a hippy, but then change my mind and be a farmer. Then change my mind again and live penniless on the streets of some city, dreaming of the day. Maybe even change my mind again . . . Of course, me personally, I know I need to consult with the Man upstairs and not get so caught up with what I WANT as much as I need to get caught up with what HE WANTS. That's not to say these feelings are erased or that I will or can ignore them for much longer.
My thoughts being voiced**, today's tattoos (yes multiple feature) theme around the very thing I'm telling you, and because I'm music driven much of the time I have to reference another song, "Express Yourself!"
# Slightly in defense of my post . . . I've had bad news in various forms since I got home. For one, that I won't detail, I hate Facebook so much sometimes. Two, my dog was hit by a car and died while I was gone . . .
*Regina Spektor's Eet
** If you haven't ran screaming "TMI, TMI," at this point, kudos to you.