Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Hating New Moon Means You've Joined The Dark Side...I have why can't you?

I never thought the mere mention of Twilight would have one of two reactions from people. Either a scream, highly annoying by the way, or a smirk that says you’re stupid for liking it. Which causes my neck to shrink into my shoulders (in guilt) until I resemble a hunch back. When I first picked up Twilight to read, it was because my sister, Elyza, had been kindly pestering me to read it. I remember when she got it from the library back when nobody knew about it and when Stephanie Meyer still had time to personally answer fan mail (Elyza did write to her and received a non-form letter). I like to believe that she liked it before anyone else. She’d long been a vampire true blue having read Dracula and studying their origins a bit. I read it and liked it, Twilight that is. I was young, what can I say? I will even admit (I’m blushing shamefully) that I cried at a point during the second book. I stand back and think what was I thinking? The books while a decent story have no lasting affect, unless you keep reading them over and over (I’ve only read them once each). They didn’t impact me in any way that I will remember them twenty years from now, such as Hawksong (Amelia Atwater-Rhodes), The Hobbit, or any of Jane Yolen’s fantasy books. The books only send one message to me. Selfish. The characters (namely Bella and Edward) only want each other, only want to be together forever, and Bella only wants to be a vampire. Me, Me, Me, must be playing over and over again in her mind. She secretly has a t-shirt stashed in her closet which features her on a pedestal and Edward is revolving around the pedestal (picture the earth revolving the sun). Edward has a message bubble, "I live only to serve Bella". Gag! I don’t picture true love being this way.

Enough about the books I want to tell you what I thought of the movie. Elyza and I did the crazy thing. We purchased tickets to see Twilight at 9 and New Moon at Midnight. You might be asking yourself why, seeing how we hate the first movie and make fun of it. Well it was more for the experience of doing something crazy and for convenience*. We spent the entire 2 hours watching Twilight riff tracking (making fun, think MST3K**). It always amazes me that each time we watch Twilight we can come up with all new comments to bash it. It was fun and I think we converted our friend to the "dark side". After hearing us in the theater she said she could see why we thought it was so stupid. :) Mission accomplished!

New Moon, sad, sad, New Moon. I had such high hopes for you. The acting was still lame, although slightly better in that there was more dialogue. I guess werewolves know how to carry on a conversation better than vampires. While I never really cared for Jacob in the books (he reminded me of a PMSing teenage girl) I felt for the guy. He had to put up with Bella and her mixed signals. If I were him, I’d run from Bella and run fast. One of the good things about the films is the cinematography. Sad thing is that you can tell they spent so much time and money on it they obviously forgot to budget acting lessons. Oh well.

My favorite part of the movie is meeting the Volturi and I was really bummed they had maximum screen time of 15 the end. The Volturi, are what vampires really should be like. Call me creepy, but vampires should be depicted as bloodsucking, evil, hell bound creatures. Not sparkly, vegetarians...'We love Bella vampires'. And maybe they could retain their good looks, I guess. I love Aro played by Michael Sheen. He makes a good bad guy. Plus he’s played a werewolf before so it only seemed appropriate that he complete his acting career by playing their mortal (actually immortal) enemy. He had this look like he was genuinely happy, but also an evil lurking in the shadows that said I’m a psycho killer. It made you wonder do I trust him or should I worry what’s he thinking? Poor Dakota Fanning, she had very little screen time. The evil vamps truly got the raw end of the stick in this film.

Overall not much better than the first and I’m not sure I’ll be getting my hopes up with the third film. Unless the new director holds true to his promise of making it darker than the first two. Do you think you could get a better dialogue screenwriter as well? I feel sufficiently stupid now, I just spent my entire blog post talking about Twilight. Ugh...I’ll never live this down when my brother finds out. I’ve also just been accused of analyzing the film too much by a Twilight die hard none the less. What else am I suppose to do? Swoon with love for the film, I don’t think so. Did I mention people screamed every time Edward came on screen?

* We got to stay in our same seats for New Moon while some people had to change theaters. Plus we didn’t have to deal with the lines for New Moon and the people who literally jumped and ran to get seats.
** I don’t watch this show. I only know about it because of my brothers.

I actually wrote this post 3 days ago, but lifes been a little chaotic.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...