Thrive Thursdays: We've got you surrounded

Hello! Long time without words...too long. I'm writing to tell you life has settled down.


WRONG.


Life has fallen into a steady and pleasant buzz of busyness. Some days are overwhelming and some days are a fountain of frenzy youth giving greatness. My main agenda is to keep busy, and honestly there are days where I want anything but the covers pulled back and to have to greet the day. All I can say is by God's grace, I am taking each day one at a time.

I always miss writing. I can't quite understand the mechanics of my own mind, that for durations of time I give it up and miss it desperately simultaneously. My mind has found a way to punish me without much work is all I can come with as an excuse. The words still churn and find other ways of escaping, namely my photography.

In quick succession...UPDATES

-While I opted out of a New Year's Resolution List this year it doesn't mean I don't have goals of a sort. I am trying my hand again at the fantastic (and sometimes stressful) Project 365. There have been days of discouragement, but there have been utterly awesome days. I can't help thinking over and over again how blessed I am to live an era of the Camera and Flickr. I love you Flickr...

www.flickr.com MadMadelyne's A Hundred Pockets - 365 (2014) photoset

-I am selling on Etsy! RapaciousCurls is up and running. I also have a Facebook page.

-Hopefully I will be able to blog more regularly because I have been waiting all day to have the time to write today's post. No more waiting...


On to the my Thriving moments (and advice)...

I believe I have talked before about the necessities for a creative environment. (I couldn't find the post, I know it is here somewhere.) Foremost on my list lately has been the importance of creative "bedfellows". The people you talk to everyday or run to for advice. The dear people you are blessed beyond measure to call your friends, your family, your sisters (or brothers) from another mister.

Cuwe Minnehaha* (Jen)

 

I hope Jen doesn't mind me bragging on her. (insert wink) I have known Jen off and on for 10 years. All those years we were what I like to refer to as "surface friends/acquaintances", meaning we waved, we said hello, but didn't know each other. In August last year I was extremely stumped on a knitting project. Mum encouraged me, "Call Jen, the lady who spins her yarn and is a knitting expert." Every knitter needs a 'Knitting Guru' and Jen is mine. Once we started talking, I knew God sent me this woman for more than just knitting advice. We laugh, we cry, and we love through the ugliness this world brings out at times.

 

Yesterday she surprised me with a gift and beautiful proof of her 'Knitting Guru' ways. The beautiful cowl above is a Herringbone Cowl and it is all MINE.

 

 

Deven...Pyrography Master

 

I was trying to determine when Deven and I "met". I know where! I owe Google+ a big hug and a kiss for this magical friendship. Initially I admired Deven's artwork and purchased a piece from her through Google+. We continued to "plus" and comment on each other's posts. She eventually asked to be my friend on Facebook (late 2012) and from there it is history. No! It isn't history...it is a grand continuous adventure. Deven's talented nature extends further than her awesome pyrography (wood burning) skills and creating artist maniac. She is a listener, advice giver, bookstore business advice enthusiast, and so, so, so much more! Deven continues to be one of my foremost supporters for continuing down this path of being independently employed and the creative creature that beckons to me. I nag her for advice frequently and sometimes she knows me better than I know myself...scary I know. I don't think "thank you" comes close enough to what I wish to say to her.

Above is my most recently acquired piece from her, Mabon. Isn't she beautiful? You should be jealous...so jealous you go look at more of her work! Here. And Here. Oh yes and here!

 

 

She who gave you life

 

 

25 years, 9 months, and 9 days ago a woman brought me into this world. My mum is a woman of immeasurable strength and grace of character. She is my number one fan, president of my fanclub, and oftentimes coconspirator with Deven. I swear they have a secret club, but I've yet to figure out when or where they meet. (I will pay for information 'wink'.) She is a light in my dark times and I frequently wonder out loud "how can you love me," but she does. I think know she gets more excited about my projects than I do at times. She is a fountain of ideas. I know I have tried her patience over the years with my flighty, stubborn, and unconventional nature. Never let her fool you that she doesn't like change, because my Mum has endured SO MUCH CHANGE. If I've ever met a Proverbs 31 woman...it is her!

 

The artwork above is by Mum. I admire this on a daily basis and I have tried to convince her to finish it. She is extremely artistic. Where else did her brilliant (insert wink) children get it from!?!

 

 

Thriving is having the thrive givers...the enablers. The weekly, daily, and even hourly people who remind you why you are doing what you're doing and to toughen that upper lip...keep going! It is important to me to recognize the blessing I am surrounded by. I have many more and I WILL be bragging most definitely.

 

Remember these people are important and don't take them for granted! Surrounding yourself with encouragers and fellow creators is such a blessing.

 

 

Just as I am encouraged, I want to encourage others in this world. A few weeks ago I was blessed and surprised by the kindness of a young blogger/photography. Kennedi recently started her own blog and I wanted to take this opportunity to thank her for listing my blog as one of her featured blogs. Thank you Kennedi and don't give up on your writing!

 

 

Thriving Moments: Flickr, Etsy, and the treasures that are my friends and family.

 

 

Tweet with me. | Snap some shots. | Listen to the music. | Get to pinning | Up, Up and Plus

 

 

 

Footnotes:

• * Laughing Sister - actual Lakota translation Laughing Water Sister - Jen was featured on one of my days for Project 365

Thrive Thursdays: I Brought You Flours

If you want full proof methodology for how to win my heart, you need look no further than a few of life's simple pleasures. It is obvious you can do your research in movies, but books work too. Also you can just ask. (insert wink) The first time I watched You've Got Mail and heard Tom Hanks/Joe Fox mention a bouquet of sharpened pencils, I felt "Ah there's a man that needs to teach lessons." Sweet and simple. Then there is the Stranger Than Fiction scene when Will Ferrell/Harold Crick humbles himself and brings Maggie Gyllenhaal/Ana Pascal a box of flours. A baker's delight.

A few months ago I was introduced (via Google+) to this brilliant "simple" win my heart scheme:

You know how people buy drinks for girls in bars? Why can't people do that in bookstores? Like if I'm looking at a novel in Barnes and Noble and some person walks up to me and strikes up a conversation and offers to buy the book for me there is a lot better chance of that working out in their favor... I'm going to reblog this until it's a cultural norm.

What point am I trying to make?

It is no secret how much I value the simple pleasures of life. I have blogged about this before and I'm offering up some of my favorite simply romantic favorites, not to give you ideas (insert wink), but to let you in on more who I am. Part of thriving for me is enjoying the simple things and learning what makes my heart smile. Bouquets of sharpened pencils. Books. Flours. What I wouldn't have done for a box of flours today?

I spent my afternoon alternating between the ever mounting laundry pile (don't tell my Mum, but laundry is one of my favorite chores) and baking. Baking is never a dull or Stepford wife, perfection incarnate, domestic time for me. It is a mad explosion of my ingredients everywhere, including the floor much to the great appreciation of my dog. Baking is stopping and starting because dishes have to be washed and Netflix must be managed. Things are never quiet for me, silence is a curse. Baking is the Pinterest board open and squealing when the recipe is manageable or scheming when you lack ingredients.

What did I bake?

I travelled several times a year with my previous job. A staple of my trips were airport terminal stops at the Starbucks. This meant a Frappuccino of some flavor or another and a cinnamon scone. I was almost positive my flight would be jinxed if Starbucks kept me from my scone by "running out" before I got there.

Today I made the Skinny Chocolate Chip Buttermilk Scones. The recipe found on Pinterest.

Discovery One: I need to purchase a pastry brush. My fingers or a spoon are just not acceptable replacements.

The recipe was easy to follow and I did substitute the flour mentioned for one kind (unbleached store brand white flour), rather than the 1 cup all purpose and 1 cup white whole wheat. My scones still taste great! They were so pretty too. (insert smile)

Cutting a circle into 12 "equal" parts is tricky.

Guess who had the first scone?

 

 

Dinner was the next endeavor. Left with directions to utilize the "dozens of" farm fresh eggs in the fridge and kielbasa sausage, I knew regular ole' breakfast was not on the docket. Let's make things messy and interesting.

 

Breakfast for dinner Calzone style! The theKitchn website may very well be my new favorite recipe site. Detailed directions (pictures!), suggestions and tester remarks. The best part of this Calzone recipe, aside from how easy it was? The fact they gave me a recipe for the pizza dough, whereas every other recipe I came across shoed me away with "1 frozen pizza dough". Heck if I am going all out for this I might as well make my own dough! Thank you very much. (insert smile)



The pizza dough one of the best (and easiest to make) I have had in a long time.

 

Discovery Two: The recipe may say bake for 15 minutes and then rotate baking for an additional 15 minutes, but 15 minutes at 450 was more than enough. I burnt my first batch and though my family gladly ate them, it would have been nice to have them all turn out like the second batch.

 

 

Stuffed with cheese, scrambled eggs and kielbasa sausage. The votes are in and this is a do again!

 

 

 

Thriving Moments: Utilizing ingredients in the house with minimal grocery shopping. Baking 2 new things!

 

 

Tweet with me. | Snap some shots. | Listen to the music. | Get to pinning | Up, Up and Plus

Mundane Mondays: Idle Hands and All that Jazz

During my first 2 months of retirement -- wait what? I have actually had people approach me and start conversations with the word 'retirement' posed as enthusiasm to my next phase in life. While I believe some meant it as only a harmless question, others not so much. If you mean retirement as the happy place you go after working 30+ years; that nice padding in your bank account and the warm breeze you feel on your face named Hawaii or by all means name your 'poison'. I'm game, when do we leave?!? However, let's be realistic I'm only 25 years old. Rushing time much?

Approaching 2 months of life without the daily grind of a regular ole' 9 to 5 has been an adjustment. I full well believe it will continue to be an up and down, all around kind of ride. I don't do idle well. Ask my Mum, when I'm ill I whine more about sitting around being 'useless' than I do about the actual illness. Okay maybe it's a tie... The point is life without the routine of a job, a change of focus and the freedom* to do nearly anything is a little kid given the key to the candy shop and told to have at it. Overwhelming and perhaps giddy inducing. I am not the most patient person (no laughing) and waiting for direction is not fun.

I've been a part of an ongoing investigation by friends, family and yes your occasional stranger. The investigation?

"Maddie, what are you going to do now?"

"Aren't you bored working at a bookstore all day, all the time?"

"What do you do with all your free time?"

Oh sorry I hit the ignore button. If only it was a socially acceptable practice to randomly slap people, the blurry vision I incur on a given day would be more than worth it. (insert grin)

Focus. Faith. Progress. Thrive. Recover. Regroup. Inspire. Create.

 

That's my "read between the lines" explanation for what I'm doing now. Do you like it?

 

. . . . . (silence) . . . . (dumbfounded slightly) . . . . (silence) . . . .

 

Boring and bookstore do not belong in the same sentence, enough said.

 

 

Call it a symptom of the stress or an attention deficit disorder of some sort, but I have long given up the hope of watching TV for long periods of time. So in the interim and post-job life I find ways to occupy my hands while gluing myself to a screen. I get projects accomplished that's for sure! A knitting project moves along in no time while you're devouring Netflix's seven seasons of Bones (true story) or spending your Sunday catching up on Under the Dome (hateful producers that was a ridiculous cliffhanger!).

 

First on the list of accomplishments for 'all your free time'.

 

Knitting

Thank goodness for YouTube. When you don't have the luxury of a knitting shop nearby or a knitting expert go to, your next safest bet is video tutorials. At least video tutorials don't yell at you when you have to ask to be shown again, nor do they get exasperated by you shouting at them to "slow down." I can't show you any of my projects yet. I would really like the people I'm knitting for to be the first viewers. That way when people like my friend Deven, opens her package it is something special and brand new to her. Plus there is Christmas soon and I wouldn't want to ruin that for my family or others. I will have pictures soon though, I promise! In the meantime a picture of some of the pretty (I'm not bragging) yarn I'm getting to work with, courtesy of KnitPicks shopping.

 

 

 

Writing More

Evidence being this post and 2 posts last week. Victory dance!

 

Pop Culture Catch-up

I'm watching more television than I have watched in years. Bones, Under the Dome and currently Suits. TeTe is trying to convince me to watch Breaking Bad. I said I would trade Downton Abbey for Breaking Bad. Seems fair, right? The verdict is still out. Television is not necessarily important or life changing, but it is one of the ways I'm spending some of my time.

 

Brainstorming

Whether it be more projects, what to write for a novel or endeavoring to make the bookstore better...I'm thinking, so much so it hurts. (insert smile)

 

Bookstore

Working, never boring and not just reading.

 

Grand-mum visiting

Usually when my Grand-mum visits I see her the few minutes in the morning before I leave for work and then a couple hours before bed in the evening. It has been a treat to spend 2 weeks with her in the house. I'm here to enjoy her conversation or to just sit in the same room with her, her presence felt and appreciated. When she visits we always go into project mode. We joke that she lives in a sweat shop while she is here. She is our resident quilter and sewing expert. She even crochets...I'm still waiting on my 'request' of crocheted items progress report. I am blessed.

 

While she has been here my nephews visited. Always special

when the great-grandkids can entertain Grand-mum.

 

 

 

“Do you smoke?

Well, yes, I must admit I smoke.

I am glad to hear it. A man should always have an occupation of some kind. There are far too many idle men in London as it is.”

~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

 

 

 

Footnotes (the bare-necessities, ahh see what I did there...)

• * Well as much freedom as poverty can bring. ;)
• While writing my ears were listening to Canterbury's Heavy In The Day album.

Thrive Thursdays: New Regimes, New Masters and New Chapters

Thrive

[thrahyv] * verb
2. to grow or develop vigorously; flourish: The children thrived in the country.
1. to grow strongly and vigorously 


Hello my old friends! It has been entirely too long between blog posts.

After Tuesday's Dear Boy post I took the time to look over my past posts. I realized a number of things. I miss writing. I miss sharing thoughts and the rush I get when I hit 'Publish'. The days that follow a post are like a little girl waiting at the window for the mailman to arrive with a letter from her best friend. Even if no one comments, watching the view count steadily increase is so exciting!

Reading some of the older posts I could 'hear' how happy I was while writing them. Writing makes me so happy. Among worldly pleasures it has to rank in my top 5. I don't want to mess up or sacrifice a good thing. I have a good thing, my words and me.

The past few several months have brought about big changes for me. We won't plunge into the nitty gritty right now. Although, I should tell you some of my biggest news...I am now unemployed. As of August 2nd I became my own boss. My sole gig is the bookstore and home life. Trust and faith need to get busy, that's for sure!

Today I am introducing a new blog series. We welcome Thrive Thursdays! Often times my blog posts serve a purpose of what I hope is to encourage others walking this road we call life. I need to listen to more of my own advice. This is where Thrive Thursdays come into play. Right now in life I'm like a chicken walking around the yard waiting. I'm stuck between knowing my head is going to be chopped off and my head actually being chopped off...on the brink. In my personal walk I need the encouragement that others can bring.

I want Thrive Thursdays to be a time to share what I am, what we are, doing to stay in a pursuit of growth. What are you doing to thrive, to vigorously FLOURISH? Thriving can be waking up that day. It can be doing the laundry, taking a walk, making the effort to exercise (I know I need to) or reading a good book that you want to tell us about. Perhaps Thursdays will become my Pinterest day and I spend the day cooking everything on my food board or creating all the projects from my craft board (no rainy days needed). Thursdays can be a day that I/you spend encouraging others. So many times I get caught up with my own social networking footprint I forget that other bloggers, tweeters, etc. want just what I'm prowling the web for...recognition and a little "Oi, you there! Yep you! What you just said is brilliant!" (insert big smile) We will play this by ear. I think we all need accountability and encouragement, we all need a method for the means.

Growth is rarely pleasant or fun, but we can try to make the best of it. Right?

Thriving can be meeting new people and best friend maker conversations.

New Chapters are scary. They are unnerving, but they can be so much more! Stay connected here on the blog and other places below. Let's see how we do...together.

Tweet with me. | Snap some shots. | Listen to the music. | Get to pinning | Up, Up and Plus

 

 

Thriving Moments: New Blog Series :)

 

 

 

Footnotes (toe wiggling goodness):

• Bracelets in new blog series banner are from one my favorite shops/organizations MudLove. Support a great cause and have something awesome to wear.
• What did I listen to while writing this post? Of course I want to share this with you! New to me: Backseat Goodbye I haven't picked a favorite song yet.

A Letter to.... Personal, Honest, My Words, My Experience

Dear Boy,

I address you so not to keep you a secret, not to emasculate you or belittle your male pride, not to waylay you with juvenile friendliness that you might sympathize and pity me. No. I pay homage to youth. Our youth.  To the naïve people we were years ago before we knew who and what would come later. To the fantasy that I endeavored to nurture despite all odds and to the hope you fed with little nods to your ego and smiled half-truths. Here’s to letting memories guide us, wrong paths, right paths, hurts like hell paths and fun for the moment paths.

I want to fault you for everything. Pass the blame and let the guilt weigh heavy on someone else. I want many things, but most of all I want to know that it wasn’t all in vain. Thus I can’t look at you and think YOU did so much and so little to wrong me.

The idea that a first love would be a first and that there would be a second to follow was foreign to me. Love was meant to be first, always, happily ever after and yes forever. Little girls don’t sit in their room imagining broken hearts, can’t get out of bed days, can’t go on, live on memories and hope for the best days…hope period. I didn’t think to prepare for unrequited love or to even fall so hard that I’m still reeling 3 years later…trying to a find status quo of normal.

“We lost faith in the arms of love.”* That very nearly sums it up.

Honestly? I was foolish. I was knocked over the head, tie me up and drown me foolish. I paid little notice to the signs, to people telling me over and over again, to God, to so many damn notions that loving you was wrong; that investing so much hope in a hero…a hero like you was wrong. You’re a king. A king of freedom, of thrill, of a brilliance no one could dare out shine. I didn’t want to out shine you. I didn’t even want to smother your brilliance. I wanted to join you. Can you blame me?

Never marry a man expecting to change him. That never crossed my mind. People whispered that to me and shouted it my face with their disdain, but I don’t like change. I was along for the ride, wherever it might have taken me. That’s where I think YOU missed out. How often do people know or meet someone so willing to accept the EVERYTHING about another human being? I’d like to think nearly never. Perhaps I’m wrong.

I feel as though I should go in to detail of the me you missed out on by not giving me the dangled in front of my face chance that I so wanted. That feels petty to me. The cards have been played and things are too late for us, for me. In the dark of night sometimes I let my hopes whisper to me still, but I’m learning to put those to sleep in the far recesses of my mind. I need someone else to show me love. I don’t need to show someone else why they should love me.

I need to take the steps to remove you from my life. That scares me. It horrifies me. Am I a fake? Did I give up too easily? Hell no, but I must have the solace that letting go will bring. It worries me. I can’t be confined by it anymore. But change? Remember it scares me. But maybe establishing these threads of thought can serve as a testimony…a eulogy to a first love.

I couldn’t make you love me. Why should I?

I CAN thank you. I’m growing. It has cost me so much and continues to leave scars that I know will be there, if not always, for a long time to come. I can’t settle. You gave me reason to search for a me that was/is hidden behind doubts and conformity driven hypocrites. “Keep your head up. Keep your heart strong. Keep your mind set.”** I’m diversifying. There are so many new things about me. Music tastes, dreams, opinions, the freedom to be, and so much more. You’re not responsible for it all, you are just the catalyst.

I’m thanking you; I’m not knighting you or paving the way for your sainthood. Presumptuous much? Maturity is many things. I believe it is admitting your mistakes, thanking those responsible for your life lessons (ultimately God) and forgiving. Not forgetting, though, that’s too much to ask of anyone.

You broke me; you broke me in too many ways to list. I don’t want or desire to dwell on. I want to trouble you. I want to put a catch in your spirit that causes you to look up one day and think of me. Think of me and wonder what could have been and what you owe me; apologies to fill pages and hours.

I used to think the woman that came to mean something to you in your life needed to endeavor to deserve you. Oh how I shouldered you with so much unearned glory. Now my prayer and hope for that woman is that you endeavor to deserve HER. The vengeful side of me…hopes she causes you to question…to question your existence and why you tore down your walls. To diminish the cocky bastard who bewitches young hearts with his smile.

Hell hath no fury….

I am many things; a lover of symbolic tendencies most certainly. In one month it will be 3 years to the day that hell, hoping, falling, fading, running and so much more began. I will say goodbye then, though I say goodbye to you now with my best weapon…words.

“I fought the wolves of patience just to let it lie down.”***

I am not courageous, but I deserve so much more than you gave me,

Maddie



* The Wolves by Ben Howard
** Keep Your Head Up by Ben Howard
*** These Waters by Ben Howard
Are we noticing a pattern?

Mundane Mondays: A Mess It Grows

What better time to write my blog post than at 11 o'clock at night? I have wanted to write a Mundane Monday post for a few weeks now, but time and energy have not been working together to create a stable writing environment. Mondays are not fun, but writing is like a "spoonful of sugar"; it can help the "I can't face another week. Please don't let the weekend truly be over," woes seem less IN YOUR FACE. Well, at the very least, less like Monday has won this triumphant battle. Ha ha take that Monday!
New things with me:

Tattoo Tuesdays: Why don't we fall in love?

Why don't we? Why didn't we? Why haven't you? If only those questions had quick and easy answers. Do we really want easy to become a way of life, though? I'm not saying we want things chaotic and crazy, but ease breeds a certain attitude that some find annoying, if not disheartening.

It's easy to love; it's hard to love no matter the outcome. It's effortless, almost life giving, to insert that love into daily routines, but in the end it is exhausting. Love is a many minded, bipolar, superstitious monster. We love and we hate this monster; I do anyways.

Are we seeing the setup theme for today's tattoos yet?

Oh Lord Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

I like driving in my car all by myself. The only noise the hum of various vehicle workings and if the occasion strikes me, my iPod singing to me on a shuffle of inspiration. I like this time because I do my best musing behind the wheel. I'm sure it isn't wise because I "look up" and wonder how I got this far in my journey, so entrenched in my mind I'm oblivious to my surroundings.*

'Before it Starts' by Me

My driving thoughts have been on a constant question, "What makes a writer?" I love writing. This doesn't mean that I'm an expert or that this blog post is law or the official guidelines to what it takes to be a writer. I'm not saying go ye into all the world and share "my gospel". (Insert smile) I want you to read what works for me and what I find a comfort when I'm sinking myself in ink.

Create in a creative environment

My writing suffers tremendously when I allow my time to be bogged down by the stress and

Mundane Mondays: I can look up

The last few months of 2012 were not my best. They were crazy, chicken with my head cutoff busy and not memories I want to tuck away for a rainy day. When things get tough I tend to withdrawal and into my hermit hole I disappeared. I owe you, my blog followers/readers, an apology. I stopped writing and each week (Mondays and Tuesdays especially) the days would come and go with no words written. I’m not going to claim or expect you to have missed me, but I missed you. I missed writing. Although it is difficult and an overwhelming endeavor, I’m going to try to get my act together . . . learn some balance.

As it is Mundane Monday and now 2013, I wanted to quick recap a few 2012 happenings.

Christmas was the year of felt for me. If I had, had more time and energy my house would have become the ultimate felt factory. Thanks to a new favorite blog I follow, Design Mom, I’m getting new ideas all the time. The idea below for monogrammed ornaments came from her blog.

I took my love of Google+ and my new found friendships and applied felt. (insert smile)

My Christmas book loot (down from last year*) included:

My Photo 'Peeking Pages'

Time for the Goals!

Last year I played it safe with 7 somewhat reasonable goals. Unfortunately, due to a long list of excuses I won't go into right now, I only accomplished 2 goals in 2012. See goals here. I bought my Canon Rebel T3i camera, Calvin . . . love at first sight. I also, by God's grace, was able to continue to save for my someday Africa trip/mission. I have no idea how much I have saved, but it brings such joy to my "little" heart to hear the clink, clink of more coins in my bank.

Even though I didn't accomplish everything on my list I'm bring out the big guns for 2013. I want this year to be the year of motivational "get 'her dones". I want to show 2013 whose boss (knowing that God has the ultimate controls for my life, but not wanting to or allowing life's bleck to stand in my way).

Books, Books, Books . . . Did I mention books?

• Finish my 25 by 25 reading list: I am old. I'm turning 25 in May, ugh. I made this list some time ago and realized I'm WAY behind, having only read 2 of the books, and it is time to get going.
• Read The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald: I'm not a fan or at least I don't think I am of him, but I want to read the book before the movie comes out.
• Read Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy: Time to read a Russian great! That and I want to read it before I see the movie . . . which didn't come to any theaters near me!?!
• Read 100 books and less eBooks: That's my goal and confession from last year.
• Buy less: Realizing that my "To be read" list on Librarything continues to grow and get out of hand; I want to focus on what I own that hasn't been read yet. Honestly, please someone send me some tips for withdrawal. I would like (like meaning this is my intention, but I don't know how likely or possible it is) to tuck away the money to buy a book each time I stop myself from buying it. (cough: yearight) Then at the end of the year (ok, ok, month?) reward myself with a book shopping spree.

Click, Pic, Flick!

• Flickr Famous: I would like to be featured; even just one of my pictures would be beyond awesome.
• Take LOTS of pictures: More hopefully equals honing my skills and technique. Plus I love taking pictures!
• Photoshop: Learn how to use it so that I don't smash my computer through the wall. Did I mention I have anger and patience issues?

Take Time

• Memorize a poem and/or piece of scripture
• Teleport to Portland: My new dear friend Deven lives in Portland and I want so badly to meet her face to face! I know I might scare her, but hopefully we can move past the initial screaming and running in terror (insert big grin). Deven is an amazing artist, not that she needs a shout out from me, but definitely checkout her Etsy shop!
• Bigger in Texas: I have family that lives in Austin. I visited the city about 5 years ago and miss it. It is time to see it again!
• Sew More
• Knit More
• Bake More
• Write more on my blog: I owe you guys, right?!?
• Write a Children's book: The ideas are floating around, waiting and ready.
• Magazine Mayhem: I would like to dedicate a day to catch up on reading all of the magazines I subscribe to. The pile at the end of my bed continues to grow and sadly remains untouched.

The Life of Maddie

• Continue to save for Africa . . . go to Africa?: I don't know what this year holds in store, but I'm game if God is game!
• Pay off Debts: Debt free is the way to be . . . here's to hoping it can be done.
• Learn to take a compliment . . . graciously
• Here we come a . . . Vlogging?: I have a few "dear" (wink) friends whose initials are Mum, Deven and Ron that are pestering me to make videos about books. We'll see, we shall see.
• Stop comparing
• Continue exercising (Don't you like how I am being vague with some of these goals: Knit More, Continue exercising??) 
• Punch a hole in it!: (insert grin) I need some new piercings and these are the ones I'm fancying to get: My tragus, my conch and my nose.
• Tattoo: Yep I want one and I think I'm ready!

I also have a few personal private goals that I hope by focusing and striving to achieve the above goals it will open the door for them too. I realize this list is leaps and bounds bigger than last year, but this year is about focus, balance and adventure! How can they go together? Oh they can, just wait and see!!!!

Quote of the Day

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” 

~Louisa May Alcott

*That’s ok though, I’m finding I have enough books to last me for awhile and I need to focus more on reading what I have. I know we have heard this tune sung many times from me.

Tattoo Tuesdays: ... And the Beat Goes On

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you . . . life.

My life and everything that goes with it has felt like that lately. I tossed things to the side, including blogging, hoping I'd find time, energy, and motivation to get back to 'normal'. I'm not sure I've found normal yet or if I'll ever know what that looks like, but I don't want to give up on writing. It is one of the few things that makes me tick.

Reality checks can be harsh, especially when it is someone else slapping you in the face with it. We are selfish beings from the day we are born. I know I need to snap out of my mode of thinking often and realize "Hello! It goes on . . . life and you need to stop you're bawling!" Do a mental stamping of your foot with me, "But I don't want to!" Did it work? Do you feel better? No? I didn't think it would help, but still try to get out of the repetitive cycle that tells you "I can't." You will feel better I promise or if you would like, host a pity party. I'm there, if you have cupcakes with sprinkles. (insert commiserating smile)

It seems like it should be that simple, right? Life goes on . . .


Other Features for today:

Do you know what Teamé means? I didn't either and so I used my handy dandy . . . Google Translator. If I'm correct in deciphering this tattoo, that it does indeed read 'Teamé' and if Google Translator is correct . . . Teamé is Estonian for 'Know'. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. However, just from what I'm seeing of this guy . . . I would most definitely like to know him. Well at least meet him. Great tattoo and I'm digging the gauges.

Jared Leto! Here's a guy who can always wear eyeliner and it is fine by me. (insert big grin) I have seen these symbols before and tossed them aside quickly as "Something evil." Well no more! I decided to look up the intriguing and attractive triangles (can I touch them?). What did I find? They are the Greek elemental symbol for 'air'. I suppose they could still be considered pagan by some, but at least the triangle with a line symbol isn't something demonic. Of course if you were walking behind Jared Leto this symbol could be 'earth' too . . . Never mind I don't have a clue. I decided to check further online and I'm even more confused, but hey it is Jared Leto.

A tattoo in the sketching stage I like the overall tattoo, but I would probably drop the roses. I'm not a rose person. Give me a 'heart' any day though!

Mundane Mondays: Which issue is your favorite? I'll take 'Lack of Commitment' for $250.00...

Ahh the sweet smell of a Monday morning. Well really there is often nothing sweet about Mondays and I can't really say (at least with any true sense of honesty) that today is any different. However, Mundane Mondays bring the 'joy' to be found in this 'cramping my style' day of the week.

For one be glad you didn't sprain your ankle and are now accessorizing with a lovely pair of wooden crutches . . .  like the klutz typing this. I'm trying to see the blessing in it, but all I can come up with is my Mum saying to me "Maybe this is proof that you shouldn't learn to skateboard." Back up a minute, I know what you're thinking and no spraining my ankle did not grant me the power of telepathy (if only, right?). It is not that I want to learn to skateboard the cool way; where I'm flipping in the air, etc. No, I'm saving for a longboard. Which if I'm correct, in what others have conveyed to me, is not for tricks, but essentially cruising. I can cruise, in fact I love cruise control on my car. Perhaps a little too much because when it decides to be finicky and not work for a bit, I start pounding on the steering wheel screaming "No, no, no! Come back right this minute or else*!" I'm rabbit trailing I know, but now you know: Maddie is saving for a longboard. It sounds so cool, right? Longboard. Longboard. Better yet say it like this "Landyachtz Longboard.**" Oh yeah!

I do have a purpose in mind for this post other than to brag, boast and complain. I'm noticing more and more this growing pile of, namely, Magazines. The cover is cool. The topic is cool. The magazine is eye candy that will help people to perceive me in a different light (i.e. the opposite sex, which visit my home often . . . NOT). I don't read these magazines. It is not because I don't want to read them, but because I have commitment issues. I can't persuade myself that no matter how 'cool' these magazines are, that taking the time to read them is not worth it. I hate this and I mean stomp my feet go mutter in a corner, hate.

The pile keeps growing and my enthusiasm is still not any closer to picking up the magazine and reading it. In fact I'm quite certain I would enjoy, if not each of the magazines in question than at the very least one or two. Do any of you have this issue? I wonder if it is because Magazines can't be added to my end of the year reading list goal total? Maddie read 55 Magazines and 10 books! See doesn't sound as an impressive. I know the reading, in many cases, can be just as beneficial as reading a book. The sad thing? I'm at this very instance contemplating subscribing to at least 2 more Magazines.

Let's hope this 'trivial' lack of commitment does not foretell of such issues with my fellow man. For the record don't talk to my sister or friends about my blatant (?) disregard for reading challenges. (insert blush) I never said there wasn't room for improvement . . . "Hello my name is Maddie and the last time I ---"

"Hi Maddie."


*Or else what? Your guess is as good as mine.

**For added effect and to annoy little brother intentionally mispronounce it and call it a Land-Yahtzee (like the board game).

Mundane Mondays: Where have all the Mondays gone?

For the past few weeks I have looked at the calendar and realized it is Monday, but for various reasons, that might sound like excuses, I haven't found the time to write. I've also lacked motivation, but that is not your fault . . . well the first isn't either.

The mind (should we be worried I talk about my mind as a separate entity?) has been caught up in a web of Google+ madness, reading like mad on my Kindle (for some reason), trying to catch up on sleep and other menial tasks that make up my life.

I've gained a crazy 800 followers in the past 2 weeks on Google+. Wow! Huh? How? Wow!?! I don't know either; you let me know if you find out.

The Kindle is feeding on my soul. I'm looking around worried someone is going to find out and add more kindle (pun intended) to my heretic fire planned for these ‘traitorous’ acts against the REAL book world. I'm devouring books left and right. eBook authors! You need to stop writing series and making them so darn good.

Sleep? Ha, ha, ha . . . don't make me laugh. I have a faint sense that the Kindle has something do to with this, but I'm not one to point fingers.

In other news . . .

I have the winners of the Reading Road-Trip: Indiana! (I apologize for the delay.)

• Randi M.
• Erika W.
• Christina T-S.
• Brooke DeSpain

Your emails will be coming shortly; requesting mailing info, etc.

Sadly no one requested the other two books* I was giving away (give classics a chance folks (insert sad face)). In lieu of the lack of interest, I decided the winners can pick from the other two, more popular, books, John Green's The Fault In Our Stars and Mike Mullins' Ashfall. I'm not too surprised, but I guess I was hopeful it would have turned out differently. However, I'm never one to force or disappoint, so I opted for this path. (Of course if two additional people want to give these classics a chance, leave a comment, I'm more than willing to supply the risk takers (insert smile).)

Thank you to everyone who participated in my give away and the overall Reading Road-Trip experience! It really blessed my heart to see the amazing feedback I got and encouraged me greatly. I just hope you continue to follow the adventures of my blog!

And she is off . . .

If by some miracle I have WiFi access this week, I will try to post. I leave for my annual Ohio trip on Wednesday, bright and early. This means my wallet is about to harbor moths and dusts because . . . well . . . there are always numerous book buying adventures when I go to Ohio. Ohio must see me coming and put all the stops in place. Hello book wealth and hello real world poverty! (insert grin)

Thanks again everyone!

*A Girl of the Limberlost by Gene Stratton-Porter and The Magnificent Ambersons by Booth Tarkington

Most Likely to Become Famous

(I originally wrote this post Saturday, January 21, while I was working at the shop, but I never had time the rest of the weekend to post it. I plan to write a Mundane Monday post for today as well.)

I don’t know about everywhere else in the country, but the Midwest (specifically northern Indiana) has been hit with glorious SNOW! There is no hidden sarcasm in that exclamation. While it gets me no end of dirty looks, I don’t mind saying or rather shouting, that I love snow. I even admitted via my Facebook that I was responsible for our blizzard like conditions because the night before I did a Snow Dance. I think people are ready to throw me out into the snowy white mess to dance in my flip flops as punishment.

This week has been madness. I neglected writing the whole week, which has left me feeling detached and edgy. My witting catch up plan* for today is: 2 blog posts, 1 article for newsletter, an outline of the next issue of the newsletter, at least 4 pages (handwritten) for my book, and a book review. Eeek! This is what happens when you shove your passion aside for an entire week. Not to mention Twitter has seen much less tweeting from me and Tumblr even less. I can hear little muses in my head chanting “Write! Write! Write!” Don’t worry I hear you loud and clear.

This post has several working themes; it is a mere cornucopia of updating so to speak. I never got around to a Christmas Book Brag or New Year’s Resolution post, so this will be a one stop shot for them. Plus I plan to tease you with some book news all my own. In other words this post may be . . . long.

Christmas had to be a record breaking year for me with the number of books I received. My friends and family don’t know me at all, do they? The picture below is a bit fuzzy, but I had to show off my treasure trove.

-    The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Box Set!) by Stieg Larsson
-    Characters from Tolkien by David Day
-    Cassandra’s Sister by Veronica Bennett
-    Hawk of May by Gillian Bradshaw
-    The Making of a Marchioness by Frances Hodgson Burnett
-    A Brief History of Montmaray by Michelle Cooper
-    Jane Austen’s Guide to Good Manners by Josephine Ross
-    The Unknown Knowns by Jeffrey Rotter
-    Thirteenth Child by Patricia C. Wrede
-    The Demon’s Lexicon by Sarah Rees Brennan
-    Child of Fire by Harry Connolly
-    Aspects of the Novel by E.M. Forster
-    How to Write a Sentence: And How to Read One by Stanley Fish
-    Song of Ice and Fire (Box Set!) by George R.R. Martin
-    Jessica’s Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey

In my family, we have what is called (me: clearing throat) a “Pee your pants gift”. There has actually never been any evidence that such action has occurred upon opening said gift, but the name is more for the novelty than anything. Oh yes and watching non-family member’s raised eyebrow as they confirm even further in their minds how weird we are. Following that lead I ranked/awarded some of the books into the categories below:

-    I wet my pants and now I’m speechless: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Box Set!) by Stieg Larsson – This is perhaps one of the most gorgeous set of books I own. They remind me of the 1950 publications of cloth covered hardback books. When my brother A. David gave them to me I couldn’t speak. It was so unexpected and wow!

-    You’ve been tasked! - Song of Ice and Fire (Box Set!) by George R.R. Martin – This set was from my friend Paul. As I’m excitedly oing and ahing over the gift, he drops this encouraging bit “The set is a little over 1.5 million words.” (Silence) Well I’ve wanted to read these for awhile, so I better get cracking.

-    Huh, what? - The Unknown Knowns by Jeffrey Rotter and Child of Fire by Harry Connolly – I had to award this category to 2 books. These were from 2 different secret Santa’s I had and as I opened them I was left scratching my head. I’m still wondering what made them pick these titles for me. I’m going to read them nonetheless!

-    Pleased to meet you -The Making of a Marchioness by Frances Hodgson Burnett – One of those moments where it is ok for your mum to tell you where she got a gift from. I have long had an obsession with specific publication of books and publishers. Persephone books is no exception and I’m also bad (good really) about only buying their books straight from England. However, my mum picked this one up at a thrift store!

-    Hello handsome – Hawk of May by Gillian Bradshaw – Long ago, in a bookstore faraway, a girl snapped a picture of this scrumptious bit of ‘judging a book by its cover’ book with her cell phone and stored it away for the future. Surprise! I got it for Christmas.

2012, I have a request. If you are in fact** the end, let’s not go gentle into that good night. Can you make it a year for things to take off, to happen, to explode with goal happening history? Perhaps I’ll have to bring my friend Jack Dice*** along to ‘kindly’ convince you. No! I’m not threatening you, no never.

Okay, in attempts to be slightly more realistic my goals may reflect that.

-    Africa – While last year my goal was to go to Africa, this year I’m playing it safer (meaning not dashing my hopes and dreams by asking for so much). My goal is to continue saving for a future trip to Africa.

-    Camera – My 4 plus year old (not for sure how old it is) digital camera has seen better days. I would really like to be able to purchase a new and cooler camera. I want to take my picture snapping skills to the next level.

-    Books – Reading goal for last year fell very short. 50 books. I read only 24 books. Yes, I know very sad. So what do I do? I up the goal to more! This year I would like to read 75 or more. As of today I’ve finished 5 towards this goal.

-    Shrink – No I don’t suddenly have a desire to be a character from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. I am in fact referring to my ever growing ‘To be read’ pile. My personal library is nearly 1,450 books. I have not read more than half of those. I know, shame on me, I have a problem. A good problem, some may say. The goal, read more from my own shelves. After all I have an awesome library if I do say so myself.

-    Snow . . . boarding! – I don’t think people realize or believe how badly I want to learn to snowboard. Someone said I have a death wish. No sir. I want to fly through the air, pound some powder, and go home sorer than I’ve ever been in my life, snow. (Sigh) Make it happen!

-    Let the ink consume me – Finish my book. Talk my writing savvy friend into reading and tearing it apart. That sounds painful and I’m sure it will be. Write more for my blog, stick to my schedule (aka: Mundane Mondays, Tattoo Tuesdays, Waiting on Wednesdays, etc.). Basically put pen to paper and don’t stop!

-    Prepare – Bomb Shelter in backyard (Check), Rations of food (Check), Water (Check), Ammunition and Guns (Check) Okay so I’m not talking about end of the world preparations (I watch too many movies sometimes). Those who know me, know that above all else I want more than anything to be a wife and mother. My goal this year is to read more in the realm of preparing for this role, to cook more, to sew more, better known as become a kickass wife/mum in training. Leave book suggestions in the comments below. Encouragement is welcome as well. Negativity? Please leave that fester in your mind. In addition to this goal is also the endeavor to become a more God honoring, godly young woman. I know I’m sorely lacking in that department. Prayers are welcome. :)

(If any of you have read this far, well I didn’t think the post would be this long. Sorry.)

Those are my 2012 goals. I may have more, but these are the major game changer. The goals I pray are most likely to become famous.

Finishing things up, come Monday I’m hopeful to have some book news to share. It could very well be instrumental in furthering me in the blogsphere. You will have to wait for the juicy details. I will also have other book related news that could please some of you and mark me for tar and feathering for others.

Don’t forget about my book giveaway!

Feel free to share your goals with me and/or Christmas loot!


*Accomplished all, but the 4 pages for my book.
**Don't believe it is going to happen.
*** I know what they say about inside jokes, but Jack Dice he is no joke. You may read about him one day. Here's to hoping you only get to read about him and not meet him face to face.

To Wait or Not to Wait. . .That is Not My Favorite Question

Originally written February 8, just now getting around to posting it.

In a world run on the need for pleasure, it becomes an ever present friend. This desire to sustain this part of us is nearly more important than life itself. We are not even required or asked to prolong our suffering by waiting. Everything comes at the speed of now or seconds. When we suddenly are forced into the uncomfortable or “unbearable” prospect of waiting, we become younger versions of ourselves: cranky, selfish, tantrum throwing children. The world is overrun with “Now! people,” “Now! people” who when made to wait are people you and I want to run from.

Wait, is a difficult word to take in. It is rare for it to have good connotations. The word creeps up your spine leaving fear and loathing in its wake. This word has been on my mind for some time and I’ve thought I should write about waiting. I guess it is time to give up on waiting for it to leave my mind (Okay that was cheesy).

Last week I looked up waiting in the Thesaurus. I was only looking for negative synonyms. Suffering. Can having to wait be suffering? Heck yes! To put up with. Nothing like waiting to automatically put us in this state of mind. I can just imagine someone huffing and stomping their foot.

I have to be fair and give waiting a chance (cheesy again?). I found great comfort in these positive synonyms: Rest. Prepare for. Hope. Do you feel the blossom of content in your heart when you hear those words. I have to admit I do. A sweet and simple sigh of relief it brings me.

Waiting is often tied to the thought that we are wasting time if we are forced to wait. As a world also obsessed with time, we never like to be stopped or even slowed. It seems unfair to view waiting in the light of it being a waste. Don’t they always say “Good things come to those who wait”? I speak from a little experience and can’t sit on my pedestal bemoaning others for their lack of respect for waiting. I am no better than you or anyone else in this. It has been a thorn in my side for a long time. I’m right there with you throwing my own good old fashion tantrum.

What happens, though, when you pause to consider what good things waiting can accomplish? In my situation I have this feeling in my heart that this is what the Lord is calling me to. Does it make me want to cry? Yes most definitely. Does it make me put one hand on my hip, the other out snapping my fingers and I’m tapping my foot saying, “No siree. I’m not waiting. I’ll have mine now”? Sure, but that attitude isn’t right. Somewhat empowering yes, but self empowerment means nothing in the scheme of what the Lord has for me. I’m striving to look at the good waiting can do for me. It does feel like I’ve waited long enough, but I’ve known others who’ve waited longer. I’m sure others after me we’ll endure the same struggle. Think back to those words; Rest. Prepare for. Hope. If tomorrow, next week, next month or even in the next hour what I’m waiting for comes don’t I want to be prepared? I can’t expect or even hope that I”m ready for the battle if I keep digging, what I call, my waiting hole.

I know I sound like, perhaps, I have it all figured out. Don’t be fooled. This attitude doesn’t come over night and certainly is hard to maintain. I sometimes lay in bed complaining to the Lord or in the morning looking in the mirror having to convince myself all over again. The one thing that really has me convinced and coming back for more, though, is prayer. I think waiting is darn near impossible without it. Prayer has always been a struggle for me. The Lord already knows all my thoughts, but to be obedient I’m called to bring things before Him. Pouring things out to him seems private and pitiful. It sometimes feels as though all I pray about are the bad things. Makes the world seem more unbearable than it was before. However, deep down I know the Lord wants to hear from me, no matter what.

I’m reading (book being mentioned!) George Muller’s autobiography right now. He had such an awesome prayer life. It makes me feel small in comparison. I will let you in on a secret, though. Since I’ve started reading it the waiting has seemed a better idea and I want to pray more. Today I’m sitting in the shop thinking I would really like to sit and “talk with God” all day. I’ve never had that feeling and if you knew more about the past couple of years, you’d be staring at me with your mouth opened in astonishment.

Everyday has its ups and downs, its own personal set of struggles. I know today I sound, well convinced and encouraged. I also know tomorrow might not be like that. I sound fatalistic I know, but I’m learning if today is good and tomorrow is bad, I praise the Lord for both and lean on him that much more on the bad days.

Last note after this accidentally very long blog post. I looked up lots of scripture about waiting. I know waiting also makes people cringe because it makes them think of patience (Oh the horror), but I only looked up waiting verses. I will give the references for all and post my favorite (even though they are all good).

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Job 14:14; Psalm 33:20 & 21; Psalm 130:5 & 6; Isaiah 30:18; Romans 8:23 & 25

The Randomness of Life

Wat: (in the letter) I miss you like the sun misses the flower. Like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter. Instead of beauty to direct its light to the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to. ~ A Knight's Tale

Thought migraines. Do you ever get them? Your mind is so overwhelmed by the mass diversity and randomness of your own thoughts that you wish closing your eyes made it all go away. Of course then there is also trying to go on and act as though nothing is playing out in that beady little mind of yours. You want to focus on other things and you could just scream at your inability to concentrate because the damn thing won't shut up, your mind that is.

I haven't picked up a book in a number of weeks. I feel like a traitor. I fear the books are bound to come out from their various corners with torturing devices, ready to all attack me at once. I honestly feel awful about it, but I can't read anything to save my life lately. I have plenty of ideas going on in my head, I just can't read. What will I do? I have reading goals that I only have a little less than 2 months to accomplish. It seems unlikely I will at this point and then I feel like why bother.

My attitude sucks right now!!!!

There does seem to be one thing that can meander its way through the thought maze, though. Music. I can't seem to get enough lately. I'm ready to take a syringe and inject music into my veins. It has this wonderful ability to calm me down and give me time to rest. Enough! I feel like a moody teenage girl. Yuck, yuck, and more yuck!

Okay, deep breath.

I'll give you random bullet point thoughts for the rest of this post (seeing as I can't control myself emotionally right now).

- Rupert (my car) broke down yesterday. I haven't gone back to town yet to see what exactly is wrong with him. I think he just doesn't like the cold weather.

- I dyed my hair. I tried to dye it brown, the box said brown. Yet my hair turned out more reddish. It is starting to grow on me. hehehe

- The bookstores newsletter has been in people's hands for nearly a month now. We have had a great response from people. We just need me more people to take action, we gave them the open door to submit their own material for the next issue (coming out in December). Would you like a copy? Email me (peetierox@hotmail.com) your address, please do not post it in the comments, in the subject blank put "Bookstore Newsletter Request."

- I could scream at all guys right now. (Read into that as much as you like :).)

- I'm nearly finished with my church's directory. Thank you!!!!!

- Just came across a group that I'm starting to really like...I mean just came across, 15 minutes ago. Young the Giant. Check their stuff out on YouTube. I'll probably be buying some of their stuff from iTunes soon.

- I hate texting. I hate that it is addictive and unavoidable most of the time. I hate texting.

- 50 days until Christmas and have 2 presents. I'm WAY behind!


I'm sure I've bored you enough for today. I am sorry I didn't have a more thought provoking post. Blame it on life, I guess.