Tattoo Tuesdays: Give me some vulnerability...I am your neighbor

Gone are the days of my youth, the days of chubby cheeked innocence and a naïve soul you could gamble on. I don't miss the chubby cheeked days, in fact I often shutter at the thought of looking at the old me. Mostly because I have a low toleration for pictures of myself and the days of curly-headed ignorance...short hair and me don't go well together. However, many are the times I miss the naïve Maddie. She was not weighed down by the bitterness and grudge ridden years of the girl before you now.

 

"...you have a courage and feroicty inside of you that I admire."

~Best Friend*

Old and new me have always been stubborn and determined. I'm not sure my determinedness has necessarily been a positive always, but it is there nonetheless. The very thing I "demand" of others I struggle with conjuring in my own day to day life. I'm not for certain I demand, per say, that people in my life be vulnerable, but I frequently write a code of ethics in my mind's eye of which honesty, of character namely, ranks extremely high. I admit to having standards that are borderline unattainable, to a ridiculous level in fact.

 

Perhaps I see my own downfall in the area of being vulnerable and thus so adamantly require it of my friends and family. I test you, I weigh you, I find you wanting, and I don't even tell you. How do you like that for trial by fire?

 

Putting it lightly and rather ineloquently...being vulnerable sucks. Yet I find myself in this mode of repeat time and again of having opened my heart to someone(s) and being burned again. I let my mind wonder at the many thoughts and schemes of a self-reliant, wall building, "you ain't gonna hurt me" attitude. My efforts go so far as to include the people that love me at my worst, the God who created me, and the people who don't even know how they hurt me. I find it to be further manifested, in those ignorant of my hurt, that I have projected a good deal of my hurt onto their "little" infractions as to render them damned in my eyes. A bleeding heart is want to believe the worst in everyone and every situation that comes across their path.

 

I hate to toot my horn--or do I?--but this post is of an extreme vulnerable nature. I'm coming clean. That I fall short so often of the character attributes I so fiercely clutch to my bosom, I blind myself and in the end I hurt me and by default I cut the ropes that bind me to an ever forgiving Lord, an eternal lover of this sinner you see before you.

 

I know I have talked about it before, "a few good men friends" and so therein lies my encouragement for you and for me. From one of my greatest friends and encouragers found in this world...my Mum's advice to me today:

 

1. Let your vulnerability be sprinkled with love...and mostly this comes from others. The people who mend your broken resolves, after what you feel is one too many times of being open and honest.

2. Turn your hurt over to the Master. This is so hard, I know, but shall we try to do so more...together?

3. Realize you are not exempt. I am not exempt from this unending game of hurting each other, whether knowingly or unknowingly. Once we remember this, maybe we will be more willing to forget our bitter promises to never be real with those around us.

4. Remain loving no matter what. If God (aka the Master of the universe) is big enough to forgive our everyday sins and still love us...I should be able, or try Lord help me, to remain steadfast in my loving nature. More bees with honey and all, right?

 

“Speak your mind even if your voice shakes.”

~Maggie Kuhn

 

There are times the notion of letting another person in, another person see the me I might not show everyone else...makes me sick with fear. The wall builder begins to take residence in the background of my mind, ready and waiting. Send the wall builder flying and surprise the hell out of it by remembering you are never alone.

 

In light of this "heavy" post, today's featured tattoos are of the wordy variety. By no means do I wish to come across as "preachy" or "condemning". I speak from my heart, and often my own words flowing out as a means of comforting others, oddly enough, are the very thing I should be enacting in my own life. Hello kettle?

Get wordy with it

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There will be a pop-quiz (Footnotes):

• *Anna's encouragement from Korea. I'm missing her like crazy.
• Tuneage today, everything Grouplove!
• There is so much "practice what you preach" in this post. Do you think I'll be struck by lightning?

Thrive Thursdays: We've got you surrounded

Hello! Long time without words...too long. I'm writing to tell you life has settled down.


WRONG.


Life has fallen into a steady and pleasant buzz of busyness. Some days are overwhelming and some days are a fountain of frenzy youth giving greatness. My main agenda is to keep busy, and honestly there are days where I want anything but the covers pulled back and to have to greet the day. All I can say is by God's grace, I am taking each day one at a time.

I always miss writing. I can't quite understand the mechanics of my own mind, that for durations of time I give it up and miss it desperately simultaneously. My mind has found a way to punish me without much work is all I can come with as an excuse. The words still churn and find other ways of escaping, namely my photography.

In quick succession...UPDATES

-While I opted out of a New Year's Resolution List this year it doesn't mean I don't have goals of a sort. I am trying my hand again at the fantastic (and sometimes stressful) Project 365. There have been days of discouragement, but there have been utterly awesome days. I can't help thinking over and over again how blessed I am to live an era of the Camera and Flickr. I love you Flickr...

www.flickr.com MadMadelyne's A Hundred Pockets - 365 (2014) photoset

-I am selling on Etsy! RapaciousCurls is up and running. I also have a Facebook page.

-Hopefully I will be able to blog more regularly because I have been waiting all day to have the time to write today's post. No more waiting...


On to the my Thriving moments (and advice)...

I believe I have talked before about the necessities for a creative environment. (I couldn't find the post, I know it is here somewhere.) Foremost on my list lately has been the importance of creative "bedfellows". The people you talk to everyday or run to for advice. The dear people you are blessed beyond measure to call your friends, your family, your sisters (or brothers) from another mister.

Cuwe Minnehaha* (Jen)

 

I hope Jen doesn't mind me bragging on her. (insert wink) I have known Jen off and on for 10 years. All those years we were what I like to refer to as "surface friends/acquaintances", meaning we waved, we said hello, but didn't know each other. In August last year I was extremely stumped on a knitting project. Mum encouraged me, "Call Jen, the lady who spins her yarn and is a knitting expert." Every knitter needs a 'Knitting Guru' and Jen is mine. Once we started talking, I knew God sent me this woman for more than just knitting advice. We laugh, we cry, and we love through the ugliness this world brings out at times.

 

Yesterday she surprised me with a gift and beautiful proof of her 'Knitting Guru' ways. The beautiful cowl above is a Herringbone Cowl and it is all MINE.

 

 

Deven...Pyrography Master

 

I was trying to determine when Deven and I "met". I know where! I owe Google+ a big hug and a kiss for this magical friendship. Initially I admired Deven's artwork and purchased a piece from her through Google+. We continued to "plus" and comment on each other's posts. She eventually asked to be my friend on Facebook (late 2012) and from there it is history. No! It isn't history...it is a grand continuous adventure. Deven's talented nature extends further than her awesome pyrography (wood burning) skills and creating artist maniac. She is a listener, advice giver, bookstore business advice enthusiast, and so, so, so much more! Deven continues to be one of my foremost supporters for continuing down this path of being independently employed and the creative creature that beckons to me. I nag her for advice frequently and sometimes she knows me better than I know myself...scary I know. I don't think "thank you" comes close enough to what I wish to say to her.

Above is my most recently acquired piece from her, Mabon. Isn't she beautiful? You should be jealous...so jealous you go look at more of her work! Here. And Here. Oh yes and here!

 

 

She who gave you life

 

 

25 years, 9 months, and 9 days ago a woman brought me into this world. My mum is a woman of immeasurable strength and grace of character. She is my number one fan, president of my fanclub, and oftentimes coconspirator with Deven. I swear they have a secret club, but I've yet to figure out when or where they meet. (I will pay for information 'wink'.) She is a light in my dark times and I frequently wonder out loud "how can you love me," but she does. I think know she gets more excited about my projects than I do at times. She is a fountain of ideas. I know I have tried her patience over the years with my flighty, stubborn, and unconventional nature. Never let her fool you that she doesn't like change, because my Mum has endured SO MUCH CHANGE. If I've ever met a Proverbs 31 woman...it is her!

 

The artwork above is by Mum. I admire this on a daily basis and I have tried to convince her to finish it. She is extremely artistic. Where else did her brilliant (insert wink) children get it from!?!

 

 

Thriving is having the thrive givers...the enablers. The weekly, daily, and even hourly people who remind you why you are doing what you're doing and to toughen that upper lip...keep going! It is important to me to recognize the blessing I am surrounded by. I have many more and I WILL be bragging most definitely.

 

Remember these people are important and don't take them for granted! Surrounding yourself with encouragers and fellow creators is such a blessing.

 

 

Just as I am encouraged, I want to encourage others in this world. A few weeks ago I was blessed and surprised by the kindness of a young blogger/photography. Kennedi recently started her own blog and I wanted to take this opportunity to thank her for listing my blog as one of her featured blogs. Thank you Kennedi and don't give up on your writing!

 

 

Thriving Moments: Flickr, Etsy, and the treasures that are my friends and family.

 

 

Tweet with me. | Snap some shots. | Listen to the music. | Get to pinning | Up, Up and Plus

 

 

 

Footnotes:

• * Laughing Sister - actual Lakota translation Laughing Water Sister - Jen was featured on one of my days for Project 365

Thrive Thursdays: New Regimes, New Masters and New Chapters

Thrive

[thrahyv] * verb
2. to grow or develop vigorously; flourish: The children thrived in the country.
1. to grow strongly and vigorously 


Hello my old friends! It has been entirely too long between blog posts.

After Tuesday's Dear Boy post I took the time to look over my past posts. I realized a number of things. I miss writing. I miss sharing thoughts and the rush I get when I hit 'Publish'. The days that follow a post are like a little girl waiting at the window for the mailman to arrive with a letter from her best friend. Even if no one comments, watching the view count steadily increase is so exciting!

Reading some of the older posts I could 'hear' how happy I was while writing them. Writing makes me so happy. Among worldly pleasures it has to rank in my top 5. I don't want to mess up or sacrifice a good thing. I have a good thing, my words and me.

The past few several months have brought about big changes for me. We won't plunge into the nitty gritty right now. Although, I should tell you some of my biggest news...I am now unemployed. As of August 2nd I became my own boss. My sole gig is the bookstore and home life. Trust and faith need to get busy, that's for sure!

Today I am introducing a new blog series. We welcome Thrive Thursdays! Often times my blog posts serve a purpose of what I hope is to encourage others walking this road we call life. I need to listen to more of my own advice. This is where Thrive Thursdays come into play. Right now in life I'm like a chicken walking around the yard waiting. I'm stuck between knowing my head is going to be chopped off and my head actually being chopped off...on the brink. In my personal walk I need the encouragement that others can bring.

I want Thrive Thursdays to be a time to share what I am, what we are, doing to stay in a pursuit of growth. What are you doing to thrive, to vigorously FLOURISH? Thriving can be waking up that day. It can be doing the laundry, taking a walk, making the effort to exercise (I know I need to) or reading a good book that you want to tell us about. Perhaps Thursdays will become my Pinterest day and I spend the day cooking everything on my food board or creating all the projects from my craft board (no rainy days needed). Thursdays can be a day that I/you spend encouraging others. So many times I get caught up with my own social networking footprint I forget that other bloggers, tweeters, etc. want just what I'm prowling the web for...recognition and a little "Oi, you there! Yep you! What you just said is brilliant!" (insert big smile) We will play this by ear. I think we all need accountability and encouragement, we all need a method for the means.

Growth is rarely pleasant or fun, but we can try to make the best of it. Right?

Thriving can be meeting new people and best friend maker conversations.

New Chapters are scary. They are unnerving, but they can be so much more! Stay connected here on the blog and other places below. Let's see how we do...together.

Tweet with me. | Snap some shots. | Listen to the music. | Get to pinning | Up, Up and Plus

 

 

Thriving Moments: New Blog Series :)

 

 

 

Footnotes (toe wiggling goodness):

• Bracelets in new blog series banner are from one my favorite shops/organizations MudLove. Support a great cause and have something awesome to wear.
• What did I listen to while writing this post? Of course I want to share this with you! New to me: Backseat Goodbye I haven't picked a favorite song yet.