I Need You to Need Me

(insert British accent . . . cockney)

Do you want me to teach ya' to walk and talk like a regula' lady?

Damn confession . . .

There is nothing cathartic about it. There is stubborn, stupid, and then there is determined. Perhaps you are so determined as to convince everyone around you, you need no one. When Barbara or some musical fanatic started waylaying you with the glorified lyrics of an infatuated pleaser, "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world," it was all you could do not to smack them silly with their piano keys. "People? I don't need no stinking people." The absurdity of such an idea. People leave a metallic taste on the tongue; iron deficient you seek as any other 'normal' people hater person to vanquish a deficiency. It is a weakness after all. If you can't fulfill a craving . . . you fantasize. I wonder what a vampire would do in this situation. Maybe oxygen deprivation will silence the fodder sanity feeders?

Your morning pep talk didn't work. You didn't review A Hermit's Guide to Everyday Anti-Social Behavior enough times to earn your doctorate or that life time achievement award you have been aiming for. No, in a word, your determination was lacking. Your closing argument could use a good polish . . . or two.

I need people. I may grit my teeth and hold my breath until I pass out  . . . 10 times at least, but I need people. You need people.

I need the boy who broke my heart. By golly there was a reason or a lesson to be learned in there somewhere.

I need the person who finds the time to comment, even two little words, "Thank you," which causes a gleeful squeal. Recognition. A hug directly to my heart.

I need the people whose talking aggravates me to the point of speechless exhaustion. Hey, we all need our "counting sheep" enablers. Your aggravations will be tomorrow's muse. My words will be many.

I need the people who "man handle" me verbally and mentally for the sake of scruples. You help me identify better than anyone, my own identity. You prepare me to define, perfect, and achieve that with which you are convinced is a fool's errand. You teach me the sound of ignorance and that it has no age or limitations.

I need the people who see the sign above the door in pursuit of another venture and halt traffic to turn around. Books. I see the mental "Touch Down" as you walk in. You are my brother, sister, mother, father, child, friend, or lover from that far off corner we sought refuge together in . . . worlds apart, but common in passion.

I need the people who can pull me from the dark recesses of my mind. You take me by hand and heart, whispering "You are not alone." You cry for me and with me. You listen calmly and patiently while I try to convince you how much I don't need people. You find the path for me and know I may not follow, but no matter you stay.

You need people like a whole in the head . . . and just look how many of those you have. (insert wink)

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”

~Donald Miller

Tattoo Tuesdays: I Wish Resilence Was A Friend Of Mine

Perhaps you're familiar with the saying "Wish in one hand, spit in the other"? I cannot count the number of times I have said this to myself over the years. I think it is such a common "go to" phrase, you are more likely to hear it than "good morning".

I hope to never dissuade people, or even my own children someday, to give up the practice of wishing and dreaming. They are such close companions of hoping. Just wishing and hoping

and thinking and praying and planning and dreaming*. They are most definitely the 3 musketeers of a million and one hearts. As much as I love to preach the "wishing gospel", there is a downside, much like other things in life, two sides to every coin.

I wish I had this.

I wish I was skinner.

I wish I had that.

I wish I was as pretty as _______.

I wish I could just do it.

I wish I was more like _______.

I wish I was stronger.

Wishing can and does get me (us) into trouble. I get caught up in everything I don't have and the qualities I lack, that everything else, the heart of the matter (me), is shoved aside forgotten...left to rot and fester. Scary how quickly we slide into the lifestyle of the "rich and famous", blessings and talents we may already possess loosing any merit in our minds.

I don't have a quick fix for you. If I did I would greedily consume as much of it myself as I could and then consider sharing. Selfish, aren't I?

Maybe the first step is confession. That's not easy either, though, but I've said it before...confession is good for the soul. Damn hard to do, especially for hard hearts with a super dash of stubborn, but good nonetheless. Hello my name is Maddie. I wish I was strong and never had to think of weakness again. I wish I was a resilient monster. Watch out world...yeah not so much.

Funny how the writing process works. I didn't have these tattoos before journeying out to write my words. I let the words guide me first and then started thinking Oh shoot! I need to match the ink to the words, don't I? I will let you be the judge of their cohesive (good word...co-he-sive...say it slow, feels good on my tongue) nature.

Pinterest Find

Sometimes our promises are strong enough to keep us going...no wishing needed. (insert wink) This is a tattoo I will get. The cleverness of placement and meaning of a pinky promise, yep this is a winner in my books. I love the reminder and of course hand/finger tattoos and me are like this (crosses fingers). If I'm honest, the photo is what initially drew me to this tattoo.

Tumblr Find

I like at first glance (for me anyways) how this tattoo looks like it is in a different language. The typography is definitely a factor for me and the encouragement of placement, in that everyday you will be pushed to remember. Stop existing. Start LIVING.


Last, but not least!

Pinterest Find

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket**--no wait tattoo it as a sleeve. (insert wink) You know me, the more black "fill in" ink the better. I don't know why exactly I am drawn to tattoos like this, but goodness knows I'm not in the realm of being brave enough to undergo that much "prodding". I like the slightly abstract feel of this tattoo.

Another wishful moment:

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 12:12

 

Footnotes (I think it is sleeting and guess who has Rope Souls on today!):

• *Dusty Springfield of course!
• ** Has anyone notice how often I reference songs in passing? Perry Como sing it to me!
• Music listening was a treat today. I need to remember to "clean up" my Watch Later playlist on YouTube. Talk about wide range of taste!